Another day to listen and love and walk

There’s something peculiar about celebrating birthdays.  It gets us thinking about stuffs that we don’t normally think about.

Morbidly, I thought about the inevitable.

Death. The one thing that we all have in common, eventually.

Coincidentally, a close friend who shared the same birthday had exactly the same thought.  We both imagined our funerals (if there was one) to be a celebration for the living, and not a solemn mourning for the deceased.

Let there be tears of joy, not grief.  Throw a big party where family and friends would gather to rejoice in the gifts of life.

It turned out that, pondering over mortality occasionally can be immensely beneficial.  I learnt to be more appreciative of every moment I have.  I could not resist the urge to dig out a favourite book that helped me survive the tumultuous adolescent years.

NotesToMyself.jpg

The following lines taken from Hugh Prather’s Notes To Myself had kept me wondering:

But it’s morning.  Within my hands is another day. Another day to listen and love and walk and glory.  I am here for another day.

I think of those who aren’t.

What does it mean to be here? What does it mean to have friends? What does it mean to get dressed, to have a meal, to work? What does it mean to come home? What is the difference between the living and the dead?

I sometimes wonder if the “dead” are not more present, more comfort, more here than those of the living.

Reading that, I felt incredibly blessed to wake up to another day.  Some didn’t.

Honestly, I don’t know how to practically live each day to the fullest or as if it was my last.  But at least, I could strive to be more fully present to the here and now – with the people I am interacting with, the things I do, and even with myself.

Today, I shall listen more intentionally, love more intensely, and walk more mindfully.

That’s good enough for me.  What about you?

Number 47, Midpoint and Counting Down

Age is just a number. So they say.

It’s a number that increases every year (coincidentally, along with my weight and waistline).  Clearly, it violates the conventional wisdom of “What goes up must come down.”47

I turn 47 today – another step closer to 50.  I don’t know why, but I simply can’t help being fascinated by number 47.  I thought, “Why not start the day by swimming 47 laps?”

I put on my swim trunks and headed straight to the pool, and uncovered some remarkable insights.

As I counted each lap, starting from 1, and then 2, 3, 4 … something miraculous occurred at the 24th lap – the midpoint between 1 and 47.  I felt as if I was on top of an imaginary hill, thinking, “From here on, it’s all downhill.”  The first half is done. The second can’t be that hard.

With that in mind, every stroke felt unusually light and easy.  I glided through the water with effortless ease, and experienced what psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, called ‘flow’ – a state in which one is fully immersed or absorbed in an activity.    That feeling lasted for quite a while, till something else happened when I completed the 37th lap.

With 10 more laps to go towards the final goal of 47, I started counting down instead.  10, 9, 8 … and lo and behold, the effect was surprisingly awesome.  A sudden surge of energy and strength filled my arms and legs.  I crawled even more strongly, as if a second wind had carried me till the end of the 2.4km swim.  Strangely, I didn’t even feel exhausted at all!

I know it’s psychological – a mental game I’d played with myself.  But what I had experienced physically was very real.  Today, I learnt two vital lessons – the significance of midpoints, and the power of counting down.

Could 47 be the midpoint of my life? And would I be cruising to the end with strength, confidence, and ease, if I were to start counting down?

Seems like another few questions to fuel my inquisitive mind …

Meanwhile, out of curiosity, I looked up the Internet and discovered that in numerology, number 47 is about relationships.  Teamwork, pulling together, intuition, companionship, romance, cooperation — all are in the realm of number 47.

I wonder if this was God or the Universe nudging me to pay attention to the most vital aspect of my life – relationships.

After all, in the end, all that mattered, would not be the possessions we acquire, accumulate, or hoard but the relationships we have with those that matter.

I continue to count my blessings each day, and be grateful of the many relationships I’m enjoying.  And I hope you will find time to count your blessings and appreciate your loved ones too.

I blog, therefore I am.

OMG! My last post was in January, 2013. And that’s the third post including the auto-generated “Hello World!” when this domain was registered in March, 2011.  Obviously, an average frequency of 0.333 posts per year for the last 6 years definitely isn’t enough to make me a blogger. A blogger wannabe, maybe.

But this can change. And it will.  And here’s why …

In our family, we practise a wonderful annual yearend ritual, first initiated by my wife several years ago.  The process is simple.  We gather as a family, review the vision we have set for the year, reflect on the accomplishments and experiences that we are grateful for, and take turns to share out loud.  And then, we craft a vision for the following year, starting with the ‘Top Ten’ list, share it, narrow down to the ‘BIG 3,’ and create a vision board to keep us on track.

Call it ‘Law of Attraction’ or ‘Power of Vision,’ the vision board has its magic. Last year, all three of Sean’s (my eldest son) vision came true!  His proudest moment was when his team emerged champion in the national interschool floorball championship.  As parents, my wife and I are super proud of and happy for him too.  But I couldn’t say the same for myself, for I was still stuck at the second last step – picking my BIG 3.

I can’t help thinking that the Universe’s message for me was “Focus, focus, focus.”  Ironically, my last post was titled “To enhance focus, speed up.”  [Note to self: Read my own blog once in a while.]

So, for 2017, I’m inspired and determined to make ‘Blog weekly’ one of three major things to get done.  Ironically, it took me a month to get to this point (procrastination is one of my strengths), but I’m grateful that I finally did.  Better late than never.

And this isn’t some new year resolutions that get forgotten by February.  I’m conscious that it could be something that will transform the very core of who I am.  And here’s why things are gonna be different …

In truth, I’m really sick of carrying forward the ‘Restart blogging’ from one year to the next.  I’m done with repeatedly feeling the shame of not taking action to live out my vision.  I don’t want to be merely a dreamer, but a doer that realises his dreams as well.  And I don’t want to let myself down, again.

OK, to be fair, I’m not a total failure at this vision-to-action thing.  I did manage to tick off a few things in my vision for 2016. Skiing with my family in Japan, check. Run 10 km, check.  Swim Ironman distance, check. Learn yoga, check. Reduce weight to 78 kg? Hmm, perhaps a more realistic target for 2017 will drastically increase my likelihood of success.

So, back to blogging. Will turning it into one of my BIG 3 help? What will it take for a blogger wannabe to become a blogger?  And what will it take to become an excellent blogger?

Aristotle once said,

“We are repeatedly what we do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” 

Perhaps it’s as simple as starting to do it, and then keep on doing it, learning as we do, continuously developing ourselves, and practice, practice, and more practice.

What do you think? And what have you put off doing, that might benefit from a bit more focus?

Now that I’ve publicly declared my intention and given blogging another shot, only time will tell if I do indeed honour my words, at least to myself.

Fast forward to December 2017 … I’m seeing myself expressing my gratitude for all the encouragement and feedback from readers like yourself, and feeling even more inspired to write for the rest of my life.  Thank you for reading, for without you, this would be another page of my unread diary.

I blog, therefore I am.

To enhance focus, speed up.

Tonight, as I raced up the steps leading up to the stadium to give my heart a good workout, I noticed a remarkable increase in my focus on where I was stepping.  The image which immediately sprung to mind was an F1 driver giving 100% concentration to what he was doing, and shutting out from everything else in the world. A slight distraction may mean a fatal crash. In my case, perhaps a mis-step leading to a painful tumble.

I wonder if that observation applies to business and leadership too. To get people to stay focused, leaders need to up the tempo and drum up the pace.